Tugging at the heartstrings of every parent going through a separation is an innocent child(ren). Protecting these little beings should be first and foremost on everyone’s to do list, but as family & domestic attorneys in Raleigh we unfortunately (and often) see that it’s not. Exposing minor children to the details of your separation agreement is very detrimental and has lasting effects to your child and their development.
Divorce and separation is emotionally draining for everyone involved. The minor children (regardless of age) involved should be protected from any and every detail pertaining to your separation. If you are having a conversation with your friends, parents or your Raleigh separation attorney regarding the details or new comings about the divorce, please make sure that your children aren’t within earshot. Keep them protected. In addition, we often see parents that involve their kids by making comments to them about “what is fair” or “if they really loved you they would (wouldn’t) do this.” Children are innocent beings that have been thrust into the immediate and long-term changes that the separation/divorce will ultimately make in their lives. Most parents wouldn’t intentionally hurt them and cause them scars. Set your own feelings aside and realize that by talking with them or allowing them to overhear your conversations about your divorce is doing just that…causing them injury and giving them scars that will take years to recover from (if they do). Keep them protected.
Loving your child(ren) through the challenges of life isn’t always easy. Take a moment to pause and look at things from the outside of your immediate hurt and/or anger. Your children are probably frightened by the changes going on around them and could definitely use a little extra love or personal time. You are probably equally frightened about the same changes; you could use the same love they have to give. Put down the Ipad, log off Facebook and instead take a walk with them, play their favorite sport until THEY are tired of playing, get out the play-doh and have a creation contest, or just cuddle up to a movie they want to watch with you and engage in laughter with them. Having compassion and understanding may not come natural in the daily frenzy you are living in, but as it relates to your child you NEED to MAKE it happen. You will get through your challenges and the farthest you keep your children from the differences between your spouse and yourself will make it easier for everyone involved to adjust and move on.
It’s 2013 and the truth is that the majority of marriages have problems and some fail. Your immediate circle of friends most likely has families that have been through separation/divorce. It’s not the end of the world, you are still breathing and you will survive this with the help of a experienced domestic and family law attorney in Raleigh. Choose your words wisely when talking with your kids about the hard truths and the changes that are happening around them and then wrap them with loving arms, they will thank you in the long run. Keep them protected.
When you need legal assistance with a family or domestic law matter in Raleigh, contact us or call (919) 832-2280.